Shades of You

A little accessory that we kind of just buy and wear without giving much thought are our sunglasses also know as sun shades or simply shades. I absolutely love, love, love big sunglasses!! When I’m shopping for sunglasses I don’t even give the smaller frames a chance. I go directly to the biggest most fabulous shades in the store. I have several different styles and my personal favorite color is brown. I do own a couple of pairs of black and it just wouldn’t be me if I didn’t own a pair from the red color palette but most of mine are brown because it is my own personal opinion that the brown shades look better with my skin tone.

I was in the salon talking with my hair stylist Tequila and she was pointing out that every diva needs several pairs of sunglasses and I must say that I totally agree. The pair she was wearing that we were discussing was a fabulous pair of Marc Jacobs shades. She was telling a gentleman in the shop that this pair she usually wears when she’s wearing a cute little summer dress. She went on to tell him that she wears the aviator style shades when she’s wearing a simple pair of jeans and a tank or t-shirt. I agree totally agree.

I also want to point out that your shades should always be proportioned to your facial size and shape. If you have a smaller face you don’t want to get them too big because the bigger shades will consume your face and make your head appear smaller and make you look sort of like a bug. For my divas with a more full facial shape bigger is better!! Size isn’t the only factor to be considered when choosing your shades. If you have high round cheeks you may want to consider shades with a more flat shape. This is because you don’t want to have those hideous lines across your cheeks when you take your shades off because the frame was resting directly on your cheeks. If you are a fuller faced diva please stay away from the smaller framed shades. I as a fuller faced diva feel like the smaller frames make me look like my head is swelling up around the shades. This is buffockery that will definitely make you the topic of discussions but it won’t be the types of discussions that you would like. When shopping for sunglasses size does matter!!!

Life: It may be a cliché’ saying but I honestly believe that the eyes are the pathway to the soul. It really doesn’t matter what a person is saying or doing the truth is always in their eyes. If you want to be taken seriously then it is super important that eye contact is made. In making eye contact please understand that the other person can probably tell if you are being honest so don’t say anything that you don’t really mean. Actions are always much louder than any tone of voice that you can use. So if you are speaking from your heart, your eyes are saying the same, then the most important thing that you can do to bring it all together harmoniously is to let your actions support what you’ve been saying all along. If you aren’t going to do that you may as well wear sunglasses while you are having that serious discussion. Those “heart felt” words come across as wonk wonk wonk whomp whomp whomp whomp to the other person when the actions aren’t in support of the words.
Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it’s a way of life!!

I'm a Superhero!!

Divas too much metallic is just not right!! I make it a habit of starting each day with the mindset that it’s a new opportunity to change the world. I call it my Superhero approach and it definitely helps me keep my purpose in mind. It is my goal as a diva to be the change that I want to see in the world and I plan to do that by helping one wayward diva or even diva admirer at a time. I feel like if I can advise at least one person by way of fashion, beauty, or life issue then my day’s mission has been accomplished. On the days that I get feedback from multiple people I am totally stoked and feel like I’ve had a “Super” day for sure!!

I would never even attempt to actually dress up like a superhero unless it’s Halloween or some other special event that would warrant such extreme attire. Even then I don’t think I could do an entire metallic get up. I have spotted several knock off divas (KOD) around the Tampa Bay area dressed literally from head to toe in metallic. I think they are taking my whole superhero concept a bit too far!! This buffockery is an extreme violation of the diva code of ethics and you are forever banished from the diva-dom for a violation of the sort. Metallics are fun and when worn in moderation can be very complimentary to your attire. Please, please, please divas…keep your residency secured in the diva-dom and don’t really try to be a Superhero. Even the real superheroes wear regular clothing unless they are on a mission!!

Life: We all have a purpose for being here. Some of us know our purpose and we are making every effort to live a life that reflects this knowledge. There are also some of us who are still trying to figure out what our life’s purpose is. Whichever one of these groups you find yourself fitting into know that every day is a new opportunity to be a better you!! If you had a rough day yesterday leave it in yesterday and start the day anew with the goal of having a better day today and a great deal of optimism that tomorrow will be even better than today!!

If you feel like you know your purpose then approach it with much passion and tenacity. If you don’t know your purpose you should seek it with much fervor, because it is after all the reason you are here. Living a life of purpose is what makes superheroes super!! Superman knows that he is Superman to save lives. He has been equipped to do this effectively and so he does an excellent job at it. He goes from an average everyday Joe to an unstoppable force to be reckoned with by simply stepping into a phone booth and putting the “S” on his chest. Understanding that Superman is a fictitious character the concept is one that we should all keep fresh in our minds. For instance I know that my purpose is to encourage, inspire, and motivate divas and diva admirers to be the best them that they can be. It is what comes naturally for me and I seem to be fully equipped with what I need to fulfill this mission on a regular basis!! My phone booth is my closet…I go from an everyday wife, mommy, and neighbor to a fabulous Supreme Diva instantly!! This is where I put the stilettos on and the “S” on my chest. Tap into your creative side and find your purpose and make it super!! We all have a phone booth. Where is yours??

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it’s a way of life!!

Keep It Cute

There’s an old rather cliché’ saying that says “When you know better, then you do better!!”. I’m going to safely assume that a great deal of the knock off divas (KOD) simply don’t know any better. There seems to be an epidemic of KODs under the impression that their jeans or pants should be so tight that they give them that treacherous muffin top. Muffins are for sustenance not to be worn!! I’ve even witnessed some that were much too large to be considered muffins, we refer to those as loaf tops. This is the kind of buffockery that makes me uncontrollably get an instant stink face. For those who don’t know what stink face is it’s when something smells fowl and your nose and lips turn upward. The thought that comes to mind when I see these human pastries is “girl tuck that muffin away and Keep it Cute”.

There are a plenitude of options to combat that villainous muffin or loaf top. Spanx are a great defense mechanism. They come in several different forms, shapes, fits and there is even a generic line found in Target called Assets. A great pair of spanx is a diva’s best friend. They are worn by not just my full figured divas but the smaller framed divas who have problem areas. If you are unaware of what Spanx are they are the modern answer to what was previously referred to as a girdle. When they fit properly they aren’t uncomfortable, they don’t ride up, and they don’t roll down either. Every diva needs a pair amongst her unmentionables just for general purposes. Feeling a little bloated…grab the spanx, just had a baby…grab the spanx, dress not quite fitting like you want…grab the spanx!! This “body armor” as I call it, is a jewel and can be compared to diamonds in the sense that they are truly a diva’s best friend!!

Now if you have a loaf…spanx may not be the answer. The need is for something with a little more strength like a Body Magic. Body Magics are an investment, but the benefits are priceless in the changes that they make for your appearance. They are definitely strong enough to hold the loaf. If Body Magic doesn’t work…stop kidding yourself and just buy a bigger size to Keep it Cute.

Life: Having a great personality and warm spirit help make you more appealing and enhance your beauty. Physically you can be the most beautiful person in the world but your facial expressions, attitude, and conversation will definitely be the things that determine your beauty to those around you. These are the things that you should really consider when you find yourself lonely. Stop making excuses for not having friends or people who want to be around you and do a self-assessment on your personality. Now this can be a little difficult if you are your number one fan. It’s not easy to see things in yourself because you think that you are fantastic!! In these cases ask your closest family and friends what they honestly think about your personality. In doing this keep an open mind and be receptive to what they have to say. In most cases the people who love you are willing to give you a true honest opinion because they want you to be the best you that you can be. Once you have their opinions don’t take it personal and don’t play the victim, absorb the info and make adjustments as necessary to keep it cute!!
Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it’s a way of life!!

Fix Your Flats

Divas the question “How do you dance in those heels?” is one that I am asked frequently. Just like any other physically charged activity you have to work at it. I’ll be the first to admit that it hasn’t always been as effortless as it is now. I can remember when my calves and quadriceps would feel like they were on fire after one song. Persistence and my love for shoes motivated me to keep working on it. Now it’s like second nature. I can dance all night in up to 6” heels. Wearing my heels is like a super hero putting on their cape!! I’m in full diva gear when I put on the heels and I feel like I’m ready to take on the world. My secret is actually no secret. I love shoes with a high heel and a great platform!! The height of the platform offsets the heel height!!

Now I’ve noticed that there are a lot of diva decepticons out there walking around in broke down heels. Yes I said broke down…their heels have blown a flat. If the heel of your shoe is trying to lay down…you’ve blown a flat, if you have lost the tap off of the heel of your shoe…you’ve blown a flat, if the leather/pleather or fabric on the heel of your shoe is peeled or scraped off…you’ve blown a flat. These aren’t true divas and this kind of buffockery gets them posted on a poster and their membership into the club will be denied until they have consistently shown that they have eradicated the buffockery from their lives.

I have a serious appreciation for a well-made pair of shoes therefore I don’t mind taking them to the shoe repair shop when I’ve lost a tap or the leather is in need of repairing. This is a resource that should be utilized when you have invested in a quality pair of shoes. This is not to say that all of my shoes are higher end because they aren’t. I do have a few very inexpensive pairs but I don’t feel as compelled to have them repaired when they have blown a flat as I do the more expensive ones.

Life: Anything of value that you use on a regular basis may sometimes require repairs. When your vehicle experiences problems you have it repaired. When your refrigerator or freezer stops cooling you have it repaired. Life situations are no different. When something in your life that you have invested time, money, and energy into experiences problems or issues you have to repair it. Self-esteem is one of our most valuable assets. This isn’t a problem for some but for most it is one of the easiest parts of our lives to blow a flat. Do an honest self-evaluation and be honest with yourself about the way that you view yourself.

My god sister came down for a visit a couple of weeks ago. It was one of the best weekends ever!! We laughed until we cried, we took frequent trips down memory lane, we partied like rock stars, we shopped as if we were the rich and famous, but the most valuable thing we did together was honest self-reflection. She came here a mirrored image internally of what I was 10 years ago, lost in mommyville trying to juggle a life consuming career, role as wife, mommy, and family martyr. I connected instantly with where she was because there was that strong feeling of familiarity that I recognized instantly. I made sure that every moment that we spent alone was being utilized showing her that you have control and the power to repair that flat. I can honestly say that when she left Tampa her flat was repaired and it brings a smile to my face every time I talk to her because it’s illuminating her life right now!! Her walk, talk, attitude towards life, and appreciation for herself have all been restored to a former place and she is living life and loving the woman she is. The flats have been repaired!!

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it’s a way of life!!

Keep It Moving Forward

If you are like me, you probably have a signature color and somewhere in pretty much every ensemble you can find a touch of that color. My signature color is red. I love the color red. This may sound a little over the top but I actually own 16 pairs of red shoes. These are all different styles including heels, flats, boots, sandals, and even sneakers.

I’ve noticed that a lot of divas are afraid to experiment with colors. For example we were preparing to go out for a night of dancing and my friend wasn’t sure what she wanted to wear. She was insistent that she just had to wear black shoes no matter what she was going to wear. There is nothing wrong with black shoes I have a plethora of them myself. However I also believe that colors make much more of a statement. One of the outfits in question was a beautiful turquoise top and a white skirt. Red would have complimented the ensemble well. She looked at me…me…and says “I don’t think that’s going to look right”. I was thinking to myself this is some buffockery that she will even question my fashion opinion. I simply said “ok” because I considered my audience and realized that there are some battles not worth the fight. I wear red with turquoise all of the time but because I also have a bright and very bold personality I pull it off well.

A confident diva will put on a daring color and work it out!! I believe that a fabulous pair of red shoes can prove complimentary to almost any look. The key is definitely accessorizing. You will have those less fashionable diva posers who will question your ensemble but when you give them a once over and you will typically notice that they are a little fashion backwards. They will not because they cannot relate to someone who is fashion forward!!

Life: Complacency takes residence in our lives without warning, without notice, and without permission. Most of the time we don’t even realize that we’ve become complacent in our situations, until someone else brings it to our attention. You can become complacent in family situations, platonic friend relationships, and most often intimate personal relationships. We get comfortable in knowing that the person on the other side of the relationship will be there no matter what. That’s not always the case. When you are the one feeling like you are being taken for granted or unappreciated you consider making adjustments to your life to alleviate that feeling. The severity of those adjustments will vary from person to person and situation to situation. Keri Hilson talks about this adjustment period in one of her songs. We all have a “Breaking Point”!! Question is are you going to wait until the other person reaches their breaking point to make changes or are you going to “Keep It Moving Forward” all of the time?? Waiting until they reach the breaking point can possibly mean that your changes will go unwanted and unappreciated. Sometimes it’s too little too late!! Keep It Moving Forward all of the time and you won’t have to worry about these kinds of issues!!

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it’s a way of life!!

Just Say No

Divas one of my biggest pet peeves is to see people out in public wearing pants or shorts with words printed across the backside. To see this buffockery gives me that fingernail on the chalkboard annoyance. Please divas don’t do it!!! Do you realize that if you get a wedge you are suddenly wearing a typo? I mean it only takes a small portion of your pants to be lodge inward and the word pink can suddenly become pik everyone knows that means you need to pik your pants out of your crack! If you stay away from the pants with words on them you never have to worry about those issues!! Some of us don’t want to draw attention to that area anyway. Keep in mind that we all have positives to accentuate and if a well-shaped back side isn’t one of your positives…just say no to the words on the booty. If you have what we call a hungry crack meaning it tries to eat everything that gets close to it…just say no to the words on the booty. I understand that they may be trendy right now but I also understand that everything isn’t for everybody. Sometimes you have to Just Say No!!

Life: We are taught as children to Just say no to drugs, alcohol, and sex. There are those things that we would have loved to have been able to say no to as a child like black eyed peas and tomato pudding but because we were children it wasn’t optional. If mama or granny put it on your plate you had to eat it. As adults we have the freedom to decide what we want and don’t want. We can decide who we want in our lives and who we don’t want in them. I have quite a number of single friends and I hear stories of awful relationships all of the time. To my dating divas and diva admirers I give this tidbit of advice: If the one you are pursuing or is pursuing you isn’t bringing what you need in your life to the table…Just say no!! You don’t have to accept just anything for the sake of saying that you have someone. You have to love yourself enough to know that you are worth more and not be willing to settle for less than what you are worth. That’s like offering the sale of a million dollar diamond for ten dollars. How ridiculous is that?? Know your worth divas and diva admirers!!! If they don’t offer what you are worth to be in your life…Just Say No!!!

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it’s a way of life.

Accentuate the Positives

The way in which you clothe your problem area plays a major role in the scene of your own personal opinion of yourself. Divas it is our job to personally keep ourselves lifted up and know that we are being the best divas that we are capable of being. Wear items of clothing that make you look and feel like you are the Supreme Diva!!! Be mindful that the aura that you give off is the aura that people will receive from you. Confidence is a key factor in determining your diva status!! Wear it like a garment of clothing. Your confidence is a positive that you should accentuate!!

If your problem area is your midsection then wear items of clothing that will camouflage or draw attention elsewhere on you. For instance wearing ornate jewelry around your neck draws the attention of onlookers upward!! Wearing separates also helps with this problem. Sometimes you’ve got to break things up so that there isn’t such a smooth flow of the eyes. Wearing separates distracts the eye when you have on two different colors or fabrics. If you know your midsection looks like you are hiding a spare tire under your shirt it isn’t a good idea to wear things that are form fitting as they accentuate your negatives. This buffockery will get your diva membership denied!! The key to looking your absolute best is to accentuate your positives!!
If you have a fabulous chest, then wear things that draw attention there. (if you’ve picked them up that is) I look at it like this if you’ve been blessed with an ample chest then count it a blessing. We have divas out there paying thousands and thousands of dollars for what Mother Nature has given you free!!

Life: We all have areas in our lives that could use some improvement. No one is perfect. We also all have areas in our lives that are of diamond quality. In working on becoming the best diva or diva admirer that you can become make sure that you are putting more time and energy into the positive areas of your life. I’m sure we can all think of a few people who are putting most of their time and energy into the negative aspect of their lives. Keep in mind that those are the people that we don’t care to be around. Do a little self-reflection and ask yourself are you the type of diva/diva admirer that you’d want to be around if you were someone else? If not then now is the perfect time to start to accentuate your positives!!!

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it’s a way of life!!

Softer Side of the Line!!

Divas it is 2011. Black liner around your lips is soooooo 80s. Please, please, please cut it out!!! I was out with friends and a diva walked past and she had a black line around her lips so thick that I honestly couldn’t tell if it was liner or a mustache initially. I stopped dancing and turned in a death stare as she walked past. Inside I was screaming bloody murder for this violation. This line was in bold italicized font around her lips!! If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes I wouldn’t have believed it. I would have definitely stood firmly in my belief that whoever was telling me this was telling an untruth on that diva. This is the kind of buffockery that gets you an extended vacation in one of those lovely suites with the decorative padded walls at the asylum. Please don’t do this EVER!!! Come on over to the “Softer Side of the line”.

Lining your lips is a way to give them definition. Divas with more full lips don’t necessarily need liner and if you do wear it make it a color that is very similar to your lipstick or gloss. If your shade of liner is a little darker than your lipstick color, blend it slightly to soften the look. The softness is complimentary as opposed to a hard core line that screams “MESS”.

Life: Life experiences have a way of hardening our hearts, especially the not so pleasant life experiences. It is our own personal duty to ourselves to determine how we let these experiences affect us long term. I’ve been through some rather challenging situations in life and I’d be lying if I said they didn’t affect the diva that I am today. However what I can say is that I’ve taken the good learning experiences from those situations and allowed them to enhance the diva that I’ve become which is only a portion of who I’m aspiring to be. I was talking with a friend yesterday and I made reference to the fact that it is ultimately healthier for us to take the portions of relationships be it platonic or romantic that we can digest and leave the things that makes us sad, bitter, or break our spirits as refuse or garbage. In short eat the meat and leave the bones!! Let’s only recycle into the lives of others that which we’ve attained from the “Softer Side” of relationships.

Life tip inspired by an encouraging conversation with my friend George. Thank you so much!!!

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it’s a way of life!!

Pick'em Up Pick'em Up

Divas we are all individuals and we all have our own individual struggles with our bodies. It is really important that we are willing to embrace the changes that Mother Nature brings about for our bodies. For many of us there is the whole trouble of not wanting to accept the pull of gravity on some of our body parts that have begun the decent downward. Whatever your own personal struggle is you are the only one who can make adjustments to raise your own comfort level with your body.

Living here in the Sunshine State I find it disturbing to see so many divas wearing strapless tops or dresses and no bra knowing full well that their girls aren’t where they technically should be. This buffockery absolutely makes me cringe. Those of us who have a heavier chest know that strapless bras can be unreliable after you have a couple “D”s or more in your bra size. Just know that if your strapless bra doesn’t hold your girls up then you probably shouldn’t be wearing anything strapless. It is NOT sexy to see your twins hanging down to your belly button out in public. You don’t even get arrested for this violation you get picked up by the strong men in the white jackets and they adorn you with that fashionless white jacket that pulls your arms around your body called a strait jacket. Clearly you have lost your mind and need to be committed to an asylum for this buffockery. If you are guilty of this what you don’t realize is that picking the girls up changes the contours of your body, your overall appearance, and the way that your clothes fit. If the girls are sitting up high Pick them up pick them up before they pick you up!!!

Life: When things in our lives start to fall we have to weigh the pros and cons and ask ourselves is this worth the energy that it will take to pick it up? We have a tendency to try and hold things up that have been into pieces way too long to put back together. As a matter of fact sometimes we’ve lost some of the pieces along the way and thus picking the remaining pieces up is pointless as it will never be whole again. As difficult as it may be sometimes we have to let the pieces fall where they may. There is a great possibility that there is something complete out there just for you!!! Leave those pieces on the floor because someone else may have found the lost pieces and come through and need to pick’em up pick’em up!!

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it’s a way of life!!

Investment Return

Divas it is a big plus to be so on top of your diva status that the people that you see on a regular basis are highly anticipating your look of the day. When you step into a room you should be so on top of it that all of the attention is on you!!! Keri Hilson’s song Pretty Girl Rock describes it best…”all eyes on me when I walk in no question that this girl’s a 10”!! Confidence is a definite aphrodisiac. I myself try to always keep people wondering about my ensemble. I take great pride and invest quality time in choosing and preparing my outfits on a regular basis. I can’t look busted and wear fabulous shoes. It just negates the fabulosity of the shoes. The total package needs to be fluid and work well together. Every good diva has a fan base. Whether those fans are positive and inspired by your diva-ness or bitter and envious is irrelevant. They all need to be pleased and it is your job as a bonafide diva to keep your fans happy and meet or exceed their expectations. Pleasing your fans is a notable return on your investment!!!

Don’t quite know how to pull off your look so that those shoes are fully appreciated?? Simplify the outfit so that all of the attention is on your shoes!! My favorite way of simplifying the outfit is to keep it basic with all black or black and white for a bright color rich shoe. The toned down colors highlight the shoes. Please, please, please divas don’t do too much with the attire if the shoe is one that demands attention. This is surely buffockery and will get your diva card pulled!!

Life: You have to know that you are fabulous in order to convey the message to others. How you feel is usually projected in your walk, your talk, and your overall appearance. You determine these things and if you let others alter your mood then you’ve allowed them to give your message. Not allowing others to alter your mood is often easier said than done, however when you decide to take control of your life it isn’t as difficult. It’s a gradual process but like any other goal you’ve set you have to invest time and energy in making it happen!! If you put in the time then you will definitely see a return on your investment!!

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it's a way of life!!

It's In the Pockets

Divas most of us know that a great looking pair of jeans is an essential part of a divas wardrobe. Jeans are a staple that you can pair with multiple things and fit well into just about any scene. They are very versatile and with the perfect pair for you they demand attention.

A common problem that I'm noticing is that some of us don't realize that there are different cuts of jeans that flatter every figure. The key to making your booty look awesome in your jeans is the shape and placement of the back pockets. If the pockets are high and spread slightly more apart can make your booty look more full but be careful because pockets that aren't the right shape can make your booty look square. Pockets that are too low make your booty look flat, and pockets that are too far apart make your boot look wide.

I was out yesterday and I saw a lady who had on the wrong jeans. The fit of the jeans was good but the placement of her pockets wasn't flattering at all. I really wanted to help her out but how do you walk up to a complete stranger and say "excuse me but those jeans are all wrong for you". That would have been buffockery of an epic proportion.

No matter what your body type know that the key to a fabulous looking booty in your jeans is most definitely "In the Pockets"!!

Life: Having a warm genuine and welcoming personality is a precious jewel for a diva. I've run into countless diva prospects who were just trying too hard to give off a diva heir. Your personality defines you just as much if not more so than your outward appearance. A great personality enhances the fabulous looks that you work so hard to achieve. When playing pool you know you've scored when your targeted ball falls into one of the pockets. As a diva you want to make sure that a great personality is in your pocket to win this game!!

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it's a way of life!!

Two Step It Out

Divas dancing is one of my favorite past times. I love, love, love to dance. I highly anticipate the arrival of Thursday every week because it is my personal kick off to the weekend. You can usually find me in some club or lounge on Thursday night enjoying music of some sort and more than likely stepping it out on the dance floor.

One thing that drives me absolutely crazy when out and about is for divas to be out on the dance floor with their shoes off!! That is buffockery at it's finest and gets all of your diva points taken away. Now granted being a shoe diva I know the pangs we tend to go through for those cute shoes. However I also know that there are several options out there to stand in as your plan b.

Several companies are now marketing cute little flats that fold compactly and fit into a cute little clutch. I happen to have some in both red and black (my favorite colors). If I am wearing a pair of shoes that aren't necessarily hours of dancing friendly I simply slip out my city slips as they are called and keep doing my thing. I'm not on the dance floor barefoot!!! Before my discovery of the city slips I would keep a pair of flip flops in my car in case of shoemergencies. Don't fall prey to being the grimey chic dancing on the dance floor barefoot. If you can't Two Step It Out in your heels opt for a plan b, wear flats, or sit it on down to maintain your diva status!!!

Life: As divas we have to learn to be prepared. We must know how to always have a plan b for pretty much any situation. We'd all like to think that things will go according to plan on our first go at them but it doesn't always happen that way. Being prepared for the what ifs can make life easier and definitely keep you on track when working towards a goal. Preparation is essential in attaining goals...failing to plan is in itself a plan to fail!!! My friend Rain has been telling me for years that I need to be a little more spontaneous. Spontaneity is not a quality that comes natural for me and I've come to accept that. I always need a plan and a plan b and sometimes a plan c. It may be a bit much to some but for me it has proven beneficial in staying on track with things.

Being a diva is more than just a title, it's a way of life!!!

The Shoe Don't Fit

Any Diva who knows me or has been reading this blog knows that shoes are a very vital part of my life. I have had a love affair going on with shoes for as long as I can remember. I feel like a diva should own lots of shoes because we wear shoes 365 days a year. Sometimes we wear multiple pairs throughout the course of a day and therefore we NEED lots. A key tip in maintaining the health of your shoes is to switch them up often. Make every effort to not wear the same pair ALL of the time. This is not Diva like behavior.

I also want to point out that it is paramount that we ensure that our shoes fit well. You lose major Diva points for wearing shoes that are either too big or too small. If your shoes are open toes your toes should not and I repeat NOT be hanging over the top of your shoes. This gets you thrown straight into Diva Prison with an unspecified release date!! You are not living up to your Diva Status with your toes hanging over the top of your shoes!! Don't do it no matter how cute you think the shoes are!!

Life: We all have our own shoes to fill and they are designed specifically to fit only our very own feet. That being said, sometimes when we give advice we have to understand that it may not always be taken or carried out as we had hoped. Bottom line is we can't tell a person what to do and always expect them to do just that. Knowing the person well doesn't mean we completely know the true measure of how they are feeling emotionally. I often say don't pass judgement on me and my life because you don't walk around in my (Fabulous) stilettos.

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it's a way of life!!!

This post was inspired by a conversation with one of my D.I.T. (Divas In Training) Kelly Wilkerson!!!

Your Loss

Divas sometimes we try to hold on to things that we know aren't good for us. I myself embarked on a journey to lose weight about a year ago. To date I have lost 135 lbs. I feel great and look fabulous (I am my own biggest fan). It has been my personal mission to not be the smaller lady still wearing her bigger lady clothes. To describe it as a task would be an understatement. I spend a great deal of time shopping and having things tailored. I vowed to maintain my diva status throughout the process and I am doing just that. We find ourselves becoming attached to things based on history, familiarity, overall comfort. Not realizing that we could possibly be missing out on an abundance of new found happiness and fabulous looks!!

If you are a diva making an attempt to step up your game lose the things that have been a part of the unsuccessful game you were previously playing. Let go of the dresses that barely cover your butt cheeks...they put you in the not to be taken seriously category with potential mates. Lose the boxy unflattering tops, embrace your curves and flatter them with things that are made for your silhouette. I'm sure that there are people around you who are more than willing to help you make the transition into a greater you. If not I am offering my consultative services to help you become a better you. You can email me for advice at armywife2997@gmail.com. Your loss may quite possibly also be YOUR GAIN!!! Embrace change in your life and become a better diva!!

Life: People come into and leave our lives consistently. There are some that are meant to be there for long periods of time and then there are those who will only be there for a brief moment. Take the good and the life lessons from each of these situations and move forward with them. The people who are meant to be in your life will be there and those who aren't give them their walking papers. We hold on to people for the sake of familiarity and unwillingness to try something new. I relate it to an old robe. It may be tethered and flimsy but because it feels right even though it may look a mess we keep it around. Don't hold on to the useless unhealthy relationships...think about it...it's not your loss...it's theirs.

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it's a way of life!!!

Friend or Foe

It's been a while since I've blogged and for all of my followers I apologize. Life got a little hectic and I had to take a time out. I'm back now and I've had a great deal of inspiration over the last week or so.

Divas I am very particular with who I adorn with the title FRIEND. I have a large amount of associates mainly by default through mutual friends. A friend in my world is someone who will tell you what you need to hear even if you don't want to hear it. A friend is someone that you can trust with your inner most secrets and they remain just that...secrets. A friend is someone who is available when ever you need them for advice, companionship, support, and even shoe shopping.

Let's do some assessing now. If you are a FRIEND then you have to be totally honest with your friends about their attire when going out for an evening of fun and partying. My FRIENDS and I were out and we witnessed some of the most ridiculous buffockery ever. Now we always give each other a looksy before heading out just to make sure that we are all on top of our game. If something doesn't quite work right we are open and honest enough with each other that we will say...ummm no sis. That's not going to work, but we also offer suggestions to make it work. This is what REAL FRIENDS do. Friends don't let friends go out looking a hot mess!!!

For my full figured divas we have to do a little extra and that's fine. Those of us who take pride in our appearance have learned to take it with a grain of salt and keep it moving. If you have love handles aka back abs then it's not a good idea to wear revealing articles of clothing. Now granted I think it's awesome for a big girl to love the skin she's in, but understand that everyone else in the world may not love it. I'm just saying you don't have to show ALL of the skin you're in!! Friends will tell you that you are doing too much, foes will let you go out looking a hot mess so that they get the attention or stand out as looking better. Are you a friend or a foe?

Life: We all have our moments of uncertainty about things in our lives. It's up to us to seek the advice of others when we are in doubt. We should all have someone that will hold us accountable for our decisions and choices. These accountability partners are a precious jewel in our lives and we should treat them as such. I am grateful that I have been blessed with a number of them and I hold them in high esteem as they are one of life's most valuable gifts!!! Are you a Friend or a Foe??

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it's a way of life!!!

Grin and Bare It

Divas we got to great lengths to ensure that we look just the way that we want to look when we are going out. Even if you don't consider yourself a diva most people in general want to look a certain way when they are going out. Whether you are going to a club, out to dinner, or even to a movie, most people want to look a certain way.

It is very un-diva-like to be out in a club and take off your wig/shoes. You lose a ton of diva points for this buffockery!!!

The shoes you choose to wear are a choice. All shoes aren't for all occasions and those of us who have a special love affair with shoes know that there are some shoes that you only wear when you aren't going to be on your feet for long periods of time. It is so tacky to take your shoes off in the club. Divas even if your shoes are killing you, get somewhere and sit it on down and keep looking cute. You have to know that if that is a choice that you made then you should just "Grin and Bare It" if you failed to throw a "plan b" in your bag or in your car.

Please don't wear a wig if you know that you like to dance hard and sweat a great deal. I was out and about this past weekend with the ladies from my book club and there was a lady there who had on a really cute wig and yes she was getting it in on the dance floor. After we had been there about an hour we noticed that she had transformed...yes this chick had taken her wig off and it was on the floor by the pole. Now this was a violation of the worse kind and she is banished from divadom forever for this buffockery!!

Life: Everything in our lives won't always be what makes us happy. Sometimes we have to make some hard to deal with choices for the greater good and even though we are screaming, kicking, and crying inside we have to just "Grin and Bare It"!!

Put on Your Happy Face

Your smile is one of your most valuable assets divas!! It makes you more approachable and warms people's overall perception of you. For you divas who wear foundation it is super important that you make sure to blend well. It is detrimental to your diva status to have a visible line around your face where your makeup ends. You CAN NOT be a diva if your face is painted on and the canvas is visible!! Please, please, please blend beyond your jaw line and chin area.

Life: Everyone must learn to not let the world know everything that's going on in your life. If you are going through some things it's not for everyone to know. If you are in prayer about something then there is no need to wear a worry sign all over your face. Put on Your Happy Face and look like what ever you have been praying about is already done.

Stay Ready

A true certified Diva stays ready!! She carries herself in such a way that she can leave the office and head straight to happy hour and get her sexy twirl on without being worried about her look. She can leave class and head straight to a party and still be the head turner in the room!! I can not express how important it is for Divas to Stay Ready. You never know when you will be requested to attend or accompany someone to a function spur of the moment and if you aren't ready then you could be missing out on a wonderful opportunity to share your Diva-osity with the world!!! If you don't keep your daily maintenance in order then you aren't staying ready. The little things mean so much when you are a diva!! Hair, nails, feet, eyebrows, clothing, and SHOES...these are all things that divas should keep in check without giving it much thought. It should be such a part of your being that if these things aren't in order that you feel out of place.

Example...my Florida bestie Candice (yes my bestie's name is Candice as well) keeps a pair of heels and a belt in her car just in case of emergencies. We were meeting some friends for karaoke and she had an incredibly long day at work and didn't go home afterwards, but when she stepped in the building no one knew that. She had taken her daytime look changed into a pair of peep toes and threw on a belt and owned the room when she walked in.

I make it my business to Stay Ready!! If I Stay Ready then I don't have to Get Ready!!!

Life: I was loafing around on facebook (as usual) and I came across a status that really caught my attention. The status read "If you stay ready you don't have to get ready...Suga Free". I thought to myself how awesome is that...life hits us with blows of all sizes and impacts. If we stay ready to take on the isms and schisms of life then we are much more likely to not be taken out by the blows. For we believers this translates to stay in prayer. With the power of prayer we are prepared to take on any blow that will come our way. Stay Ready Divas!!!!!

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it's a way of life!!

Inspired by a facebook status from my cousin Author Jemayne L. King.

Photo of my bestie Candice D. and myself...divas staying ready!!!

Make It A Good One

Divas love to stand out in a crowd. We put in extra time and effort to look oh so right when we step out on the scene. This is essential in declaring your diva status. You may call yourself a diva all you wish, but if you aren't exuding diva in your appearance then who else is calling you a diva? No one.

If you are going to wear a wig or a hair weave at least make it a good one. If the bottom of your wig is matted and stiff...it's not a good one. If you can see the ENTIRE seam around the edge of your lace front...it's not a good one. If the tip of your track is poking out at your temple...it's not a good one. If you are wearing silky straight weave and your hair has a more coarse texture...try again it's not a good one. I understand that it's not the goal of everyone to pass off their weave or wig as being real but shouldn't it look a little realistic???

Life: We are all different for a very beautiful reason, variety is the spice of life and keeps life interesting. Embrace the uniqueness that makes you who you are and you just may like it more than the attempts you have made at trying to be like someone else. We only have one life to live so let's do our very best to Make It A Good One!!!

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it's a way of life!!!

Passion + Purpose = Powerhouse

Divas we are all here for a reason and have a purpose for our diva status. I felt quite some years ago that my purpose for being a diva was to show my other plus sized divas that size has nothing to do with your diva status. There are several awesome stores that sell great fashions for the woman of size. Sometimes we have to mix and match items from different retailers but we do what we have to do.

As a diva it is a valuable asset to know what your diva purpose is. It could be to show divas that you can be fine on a dime, it could be that you show the Divas In Training (D.I.T.) that they don't have to show all of their goodies to get attention. Whatever your diva purpose may be approach it with passion and your result will be a powerhouse.

Life: We are all apt to be excited about what others think about us. What matters most is what we think about ourselves. I was having yet another conversation with a friend...(yes I have a healthy group of friends) and she was feeling a little overwhelmed. She was being pushed into a position that she knows isn't her rightful place and she doesn't feel led to be there in any way. My advice to her was this..."You know who you are and what your purpose is. When it is time for an advancement you will know, so don't let anyone push you into a wilderness that you aren't equipped for. That's like allowing someone to convince you that you can jump in the ocean knowing that you can't swim but they say that you can. In the end you have to figure out how to save yourself while they sit back and watch you struggle. You could have very well stopped it at the beginning because common sense told you that you know you can't swim girl."

Basically you know who you are and you know what your purpose is. When you combine passion with purpose the result is a powerhouse!!!

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it's a way of life.

Inspired by my friend Rayan Moore. Love ya diva!!!

Walk It Out

Walking is an excellent way to get in some cardio and tone the legs divas. It has to by far be the easiest excercise where you can keep it cute. However, if you are going to walk wearing shorts please tame the leg mane...please. There is nothing sexy about a woman with bushy hairy legs. You are banished from the Divadom for this buffockery. It is not cute and definitely not sexy. Besides what good is toning and keeping the legs in shape if they are going to be over shadowed by all of that hair? It's kind of defeating your purpose. Shaving your legs is like keeping your house in order...a necessity for an orderly lifestyle. All divas need order in our lives to be effective in what we do. Come on divas let's just Walk It Out!!! Life: Just like too much body hair there are some bad habits that we should shave away from our lives. These habits vary and only you can really determine what they are, however shaving them away will make some aspect of your life get the attention that it deserves. Me and one of the Beautiful People in my life chose to give up carbs and walk 10-12 miles each week for two weeks. It's been awesome and we are seeing the benefits of our sacrifice. What is it that you should maybe give up to see something else more clearly in your life? What ever it may be shave it away and Walk It Out!!!! Remember being a diva is more than a title, it's a way of life!! This post was inspired by Lavinia Wishon and Anthony Sherwood. Love ya both!!!

Don't Shrink It

You know the little tag on the inside of our clothing that gives us the instructions for taking care of our clothing, let's do better with following those instructions. If your instructions say dry clean only, most of the time they mean dry clean only. If it says wash in cold water, most of the time they mean wash in cold water ONLY. These two in particular are big ones in making sure that you don't ruin the structure of your fabric or shrink your garment. It is not diva like to wear an article of clothing that has visibly shrunk and doesn't fit right anymore. You do not get the diva recognition that you deserve when you present yourself like this. I understand that with the prices of gas today that the budget for other luxuries may have to be altered, however there are a number of items in your grocery store such as dryel that can help you do your dry cleaning at home. There are also a great deal of dry cleaners offering special prices and even coupons for their services. Don't automatically assume that they are expensive, at least inquire about their prices for your garments. Make a conscious effort to do better and Don't Shrink It!!!

Life: One of my favorite inspirational quotes is Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson. A portion of this work states:

"Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about your playing small so that others won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine..."

It seems that when you put in effort and work to establish yourself in life it becomes a major intimidation factor for some people. Who would have ever thought that speaking properly and enunciating your words would become an intimidation factor? Why is it an issue to take pride in your appearance? Should we be made to feel inferior because we want to be educated? These are the norm for a vast majority of us and for those who haven't reached a place of normalcy with these things but are making an effort to do so, don't lose sight of your goals because others are intimidated. Their intimidation is beyond your control. Don't Shrink It...show them that they need to be stretched!!!!

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it's a way of life!!

This post was inspired by a conversation with my fabulous friend Anthony Sherwood!!!

Label Over Load

I love labels just as much as the next diva, but they have to be worn in moderation. I was in Orlando this past weekend and I saw someone with a Dereon top, Apple Bottom jeans, Coach shoes, Dolce and Gabbana shades, and a Gucci bag. Now this was wrong on so many levels that I instantly started to twitch when she walked past me. Her diva-tude was on point, but the rest of her needed a total overhaul. I wanted to whisk her away like on one of those quick makeover shows and auto correct her attire for the day. Divas please, please, please don't try to do to much with the labels!!! Every piece that you have on doesn't have to be designer and certainly not from all different designers. I personally don't really care for clothes with a lot of ornate writing and designs. They tend to draw attention from others who wear them and those who don't know any better. For those of us who do have an eye for great pieces this screams "BASIC"!!! Divas who have an appetite for the finer things in life don't need the name to be plastered on a piece to recognize the work of a good designer. The quality in the make of the item speaks for itself. Be careful not to find yourself in "Label Over Load", you lose a plethora of diva points for this buffockery!!!

Life: There is so much pressure today to associate yourself in some way with a label. A few years ago I met a beautiful lady online and we developed a friendship that to most wouldn't be understood. We corresponded strictly online for a couple of months and it was awesome. We could relate to one another and the exchange of conversation between the two of us was remarkable. She never placed a label on herself and it didn't matter after a while because we had formed a friendship. When we finally decided to have lunch I was totally taken aback by her appearance initially. She is a lesbian and of a more androgynous persuasion. She doesn't label herself as a stud, butch, boi, or any of the other labels. She says that she is a woman who dresses in a way that is comfortable for her and I totally respect that. She is one of the best friends I have ever had the pleasure of meeting labeless and loving her life!!!

When you allow yourself to get to know people for who they really are what difference does it make what they label themselves as? Be careful when placing labels on other people because you could be in "Label Over Load" and not even be aware. People are just that...people!!

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it's a way of life!!!

Today's inspiration is from my wonderful forever friend!!! Love ya lady!!!

Look the Part

Divas know that one of the most important aspects of being a diva is to "look" the part. Even if you don't quite have the diva-tude to a science, you have to be visually fabulous at all times. Hair, clothes, SHOES, nails, make-up, and accessories should all be well planned and executed regularly. Granted, we all have those not so diva like days but they should be minimal to say the least. As I stated in a previous post you can not consider yourself a diva if the only time you put effort into your look is on the weekend. Instead of being a diva you would be considered simply a party girl.

There are countless ways to keep it simple and still be fabulous!! For instance my children are athletes and as a mommy it's my duty to be at their sporting events cheering them on. I know this may be a shocker but no I don't wear heels to their games. However I am still the mom to watch out for because I have several pairs of fabulous flat sandals and cute sneakers that demand attention when I walk in the room. I am always well put together and don't just show up looking like I rolled out of bed and showed up at the game. Even when in sports mommy mode I am still a diva!!! I believe we as divas have to ALWAYS "Look the Part"!!!!

I was out for the evening a few days ago with my awesome friends and one of the topics for discussion was work attire. If you have worked hard to climb the corporate ladder or even if you are just beginning your hike up that ladder you need to consider your look. If you want to be perceived as a professional and one who takes pride in what they do then I believe you should start with the way that you look. Before anyone can really get to know who you are and what you know they form their impression of you based on what they see. If you are showing up to the office in sweat pants and basketball shorts what part do you look like you play? I understand that some work environments are more relaxed than others, but does that mean you have to be totally relaxed with your personal standards as well? If your professional environment is laid back then try a simple pair of chinos and a polo shirt. There are millions of ways to keep it simple without making it "Barney" simple. The saying "Dress for Success" is paramount when you are preparing for a fabulous day in the office!!!

Life: You set the tone for the way that others will receive and perceive you!! If you want to be taken seriously then demand authoritative attention!!! You want to be well liked or even loved then love yourself and be a person that you in yourself would like!!

My friends are such an inspiration to me. This is my friend Demetrick Brown in the photo looking the part!!!

Wrap It Up to Keep It Fresh

Divas I am a poster child for wrapping up the hair when you are going to bed. I have been wrapping my hair even when it's in need of a do, for as long as I can remember. It's a well known fact that wrapping your hair with a silk or satin scarf or bonnet helps keep your ends from drying out and breaking. The cotton from your pillow case draws the moisture and natural oils from your hair leaving you looking all dry, fuzzy, and brittle. If you have color in your hair you need to be especially attentive because the chemicals from the color have already broken down your hair strands.

Note Divas...bonnets and hair wraps are to be worn to bed!!! You are not conducting yourself in a diva like manner if you are in Walmart still wearing your bonnet!!! Please get this under control divas. Bonnets are not hats and therefore not an accessory!!! You will get your diva card taken and shredded for this buffockery. Wrap it up to keep it fresh, but not in public. Looking fresh in public is the reason for wrapping it up!!!

Life: When preserving already prepared food for use at a later time you wrap it up. Whether you are putting it in stay fresh containers, using saran wrap, foil, or even ziploc baggies exposed foods spoil faster. Divas I know that it is considered "sexy" to let your goodies hang out, but ask yourself... would you want a cookie that has been out in the open and exposed to everyone? The manner in which you carry yourself will determine the caliber of potential mates or dates that you attract. You can look sexy and not have all of your cookies out. Sex appeal is in the way that you carry yourself not the amount of skin that you expose. Wrap it up to keep it fresh!!!

This post was inspired once again by my fellow blogger and friend Kourage!!!

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

Being anxious is not something a true diva chooses to do. We may find a great pair of shoes and not have a thing to wear with them. That is just a way of the world but don't be so anxious to wear those shoes that you put them on with just anything. Your great shoes deserve to be paired with just the right pieces that will compliment them and highlight them as they should be. Make it all about the shoes and you will be surprised at the number of compliments that you get. A great pair of shoes DEMANDS attention!!!

Life: You know that saying I want it all and I want it now? Well there is nothing with wanting it all, but if now is not your time then practice a little patience and wait for your season. Timing is everything and good things really do come to those that wait. How many times have you said to yourself if I knew then what I know now I could have avoided a great deal of trouble? I've seen people settle for any man/woman willing to give them attention and I must say that it's not cute. You end up living in misery and often being taken advantage of or abused be it mentally, physically, or emotionally. Timing is everything and no one can play a roll forever. If you give yourself ample time every person's true colors shows. When the movie is over the actor/actress eventually gets out of character and returns to the person that were born to be. Don't fall for the character...wait for the real person to come out, you can avoid that unwarranted heartache, stress, disappointment, and those tears. Wait it out...good things come to those who wait.

This post was inspired by a facebook status by my friend Kourage!!! Check out his blog: Life of Kourage.

Let Your Walk Match Your Talk

Our society has become so engulfed with today's technology that we can basically create virtual images of ourselves that seem so grand. There are countless numbers of virtual divas out there living vicariously through that one or two fabulous pictures from the time they really did pull it off. As a diva you have to uphold that image at all times. You can't be a diva only on Friday or Saturday nights.

Say you need to run out to the market to grab something you've run out of, make sure that you look presentable. Your child forgot their lunch money and you have to take them money at school, make sure that you look presentable. Don't embarrass the babies by showing up to their school in your house robe and slippers. You lose MAJOR diva points for that one. It only takes a minute to change into something simple but diva-like to ensure that your walk is lining up with your talk!!!!

Life: The person you portray yourself to be online and in your conversation should be evident without you having to even say it. As a christian I don't feel that I have to have on my church t-shirts or cross necklace for people to know that I am a christian. I believe the love of Christ should radiate every portion of my being. This is what letting your walk match you talk means. Is the person you are saying you are really the person that friends, family, and even strangers are seeing on a regular basis? Remember, being a diva is more than just a title, it's a way of life!!!

Dare To Be Different

Divas it's a fashion faux pas to be out and about and someone is wearing the exact same outfit as you. There are so many ways to make every outfit your very own that this shouldn't happen very often but it does. There are things that you can do to prevent this like accessorizing or custom tailoring. I can not stress enough how simple it is to take an item to a tailor or seamstress and have them change something or give it that perfect fit. There are seamstresses/tailors in pretty much every dry cleaners and they are generally not very expensive at all.

All of you who know me know that I've lost a significant amount of weight over the last year. I have refused to be the lady still wearing her fat clothes even though she's lost a whole person. :~) However, even before the weight loss I was very particular about the fit of my clothing. Growing up my mom was the lady who did alterations for EVERYBODY and thus I was taught at an early age that you could always make things fit you. As a vertically challenged (short) person I've had to have things altered for length as long as I can remember. (spent a small fortune) It just kicks your diva-ness into over drive when your things fit well and you know that you look fabulous.

My sister Ansonia Foster has a very eclectic sense of style. We tease her all of the time and tell her that things that she likes are "HER" but we wouldn't buy them. She is very comfortable being different and despite our comments she buys and wears what she likes and makes it work and often we end up liking it despite our initial opinions. We have never gone out and seen anyone wearing the same outfit as Ansonia because she has her own sense of style. She dares to be different!!!

Life: Daring to be different is in essence embracing who you are and being comfortable and confident in being the best you that you can be. We are all unique individuals not cookie cutter people. If we were all from the same cookie cutter imagine what a boring world this would be. I love the diva that I am and don't try to be like anyone else in particular. I love my sense of self and style and try to make it do what it do!!!

Dare to be different divas!!! Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it's a way of life!!!

Love the Skin You Are In

Divas 'tis the season and I feel like I can't stress this enough. Keep it tasteful!!! You DON'T have to let all of your goodies be exposed to get someone's attention. If they are going to be interested and truly interested in you they will be interested with your goodies covered. Now don't get it twisted I'm not saying walk around in a nun's outfit, but I am saying keep it tasteful and cover up your cocoa puffs. For those who don't know the cocoa puffs are the bottom curves of your bottom, rear end, derriere...however you title it cover it up. This buffockery is cheap and cheesy and frowned upon by people of substance. You will definitely get some attention but is it going to be the kind of attention you truly desire. This is one of those things that make you go hmmmm.

Being a woman of shorter stature I tend to wear a lot of short dresses and I like shorts as well, but I need for them to cover up the goodies. When you are short then it elongates you just a bit visually to show a little more leg. Not ALL of your leg but a bit more.

Life: You have to be your own number one fan. People around you receive what you give. If you love you and you think that you are the best thing since sliced bread then they will also. Those in your life who matter will definitely appreciate it and those who don't matter...well it doesn't matter what they think if they don't matter. Low self esteem is an epidemic and no matter how well you try to cover it up people can recognize it. Love the skin you are in because it's the only skin you are gonna get!!!

Let It Go, Let It Go, Let It Go

I know that the leggings are ultra comfortable, but let's just be real divas. They are not for everyone and you can not wear them with everything!! Size is not a factor in determining your diva status, however taste is. You have to know what works best for your particular body type. A great general rule of thumb in wearing leggings is we should not see your butt or your crotch area. Leggings are an accessory and should compliment an outfit not make one. Keep it cute and if you don't know if it's cute just ask someone else. If that person tells you that it's not cute...let it go, let it go, let it go!!!

Life: Sometimes we hold on to the very things that are holding us down. Self reflection and evaluation can be our best friends in times like these. Self reflection lets you look at yourself in your situation and see that sometimes what you see in the mirror is not as cute as you would like for it to be. Self evaluation helps you to weigh your pros and your cons of life and determine if your pros outweigh your cons. Evaluate your situation based on these pros and cons and if your pros out weigh your cons you are on the right track. If the cons are heavier...let it go, let it go, let it go.

Remember being a diva is more than a title, its a way of life!!

Inspired by a facebook post from my friend Cornelius "B.J." Lassin!!

Make A Pit Stop

Pit stops are an essential for anyone competing in a race. It's where everything is refreshed and you are sent back out into the race to keep doing what you do with hopes of winning the big prize!! As a diva pit stops are also much needed. Pit stops don't necessarily have a schedule but they are all about maintenance. Some of the things to keep in mind when you are making your diva pit stops are the following: 1) Arm pits...please don't walk around looking like you have Buckwheat in the head lock and think that you will be considered a diva...NOT!!! 2.) Eyebrows waxed...get rid of the caterpillars over your eyes...they are not an accessory!!! 3.) Legs shaved...it is not cute to prance around with hairy legs...one thought comes to mind...BEARILLA!!

Life: While taking care of all of the physical maintenance please make sure that you are also leaving all of that unnecessary overly dramatic attitude in the pit stop. It is very unbecoming of a diva. If you notice that people aren't really making honest attempts to get to know you...check your attitude at the door. Ask yourself "Am I being the change that I want to see in my life?". It all starts with you, the saying birds of a feather flock together is very true. If you seem to be surrounded by ratchetness then check yourself because you may just be a bit ratchet. If you seem to be surrounded by drama and isms and schisms...check yourself...you could be a star in the show.

Taking care of these things will help ensure that you are in fact on top of your Diva Status and out there feeding it to them in nice hearty portions!!! Remember being a diva is more than a title, it's a way of life!!!

If It Doesn't Fit Don't Force It

Everything that looks like it should fit may not. When I came up with this topic I had two things in mind.

Fashion: if your shirt keeps riding up every time you move...it doesn't fit, don't force it!! If that middle button keeps spreading and threatening the person sitting across from you...it doesn't fit, don't force it. If you can't breathe when you sit down because those jeans are so tight...they don't fit, don't force them. Often we try to make things fit even though we know how ridiculous we look and feel. We simply really like the piece in question so much that we want to make it work anyway. Just let it go. There is another fabulous piece out there somewhere just waiting for you to realize that it needs you as much as you need it.

Life: sometimes we like someone so much that we go out of our way to force a fit in our lives that really in all actuality doesn't fit. Examine things fully and ask yourself is this person really suppose to be in this place in my life? That's not to say that they shouldn't be in your life you just may be trying to force them into a place that they don't fit. Friendships can be hard to figure out sometimes and it's great to have real people around you to help you to see things that you are blocking out on your own.

This life tip is compliments of a fabulous day out with my friends on Friday. Thanks Demetrik Brown and Anthony Sherwood. You guys may not know it but you inspired me more than I can openly express!!!

Remember being a diva is more than a title, it's a way of life!!!!