I'm Back!! Still Fabulous!!

So I took a MAJOR break from blogging and have just realized how much my tips not only help others but help me as well. There are great therapeutic benefits in helping others. The fashion advice keeps me in check when I have those I don't feel like being fabulous days. The life tips help keep me grounded and inspired. I sat here today in a not so good head space and read over some of the older posts and to my surprise a couple of them were just what I needed in this very moment. That was my confirmation that it's time to get back to the grind. In the time that I haven't been active with this blog my life has done a 180 degree turn and while the journey in the opposite direction was definitely a move for the better it has been anything but easy. However, I have for the most part remained true to my fabulousness and continued to smile. With that being said I'm back and though my life may not accommodate daily posts you can expect regular posts. Life: When you are home watching a movie and you have to use the restroom generally you'll pause the movie as to not miss anything while nature calls. Well sometimes in life we have to pause for various causes and come back later to pick up where we left off. Though my pause from blogging has been a little extended...ok...extremely extended, there was plenty of reason for the pause. I am however, back and in full effect and ready to redeem my rightful place in the Diva-dom. New helpful posts coming soon. Being a Diva is more than just a title...it's a way of life!! Be fabulous intentionally Divas!!

Don't Stay Stuck

Divas there is a saying among men/women who love to see a woman in a well fitted tasteful pair of heels. "I want to see the bottom of the shoe". This was brought to my attention by a very special friend of mine who is a serious admirer of women in great heels. The saying implies that they want you down with you heels in the air. (sexual undertone)

Now it is extremely tacky to see a woman with that little sticker displaying the price/size of the shoe still on the bottom. This decreases your diva-osity in a really big way. Not only that, but for the divas with an appreciation for the finer things we all know that high end shoes don't have that little sticker. Now please don't misunderstand that last statement. I am a shoe LOVER so I have shoes that have cost me as little as $10 and some that have cost a few hundreds. The cost doesn't always determine the quality. Style and quality are learned and cost has nothing to do with that. It is no one's business but your own what you've paid for your fabulous shoes or what size they are for that matter.

All of you divas, divas in training, and wanna be divas go to where ever you have your shoes stored and start peeling off all of those little stickers. (self included) I was out looking fabulous as usual a couple of weeks ago. I sat down at the bar and crossed my legs and that little sticker screamed at me. I became instantly embarrassed. I played it cool, casually uncrossed my legs and excused myself to the ladies room and peeled those little monsters off. I then regained my composure with hopes that no one else noticed. I returned to the party and resumed my flirtatious confident diva stance and enjoyed the rest of the evening.

Life: Knowing you worth is a key element to a happy and productive life. What you have doesn't define you, however your drive pursuit to better your life for yourself and those closest to you does. Finding yourself content with less than God's best for your life says to those looking up to you that just getting by is sufficient. Had our President been content with just obtaining a title he wouldn't have made history as the 1st African American president of the United States of America. Had Dr. King been content with just becoming popular he wouldn't have had the dream of what would be. Had I not been willing to share my fabulousness you wouldn't be reading this awesome blog!!

Shades of You

A little accessory that we kind of just buy and wear without giving much thought are our sunglasses also know as sun shades or simply shades. I absolutely love, love, love big sunglasses!! When I’m shopping for sunglasses I don’t even give the smaller frames a chance. I go directly to the biggest most fabulous shades in the store. I have several different styles and my personal favorite color is brown. I do own a couple of pairs of black and it just wouldn’t be me if I didn’t own a pair from the red color palette but most of mine are brown because it is my own personal opinion that the brown shades look better with my skin tone.

I was in the salon talking with my hair stylist Tequila and she was pointing out that every diva needs several pairs of sunglasses and I must say that I totally agree. The pair she was wearing that we were discussing was a fabulous pair of Marc Jacobs shades. She was telling a gentleman in the shop that this pair she usually wears when she’s wearing a cute little summer dress. She went on to tell him that she wears the aviator style shades when she’s wearing a simple pair of jeans and a tank or t-shirt. I agree totally agree.

I also want to point out that your shades should always be proportioned to your facial size and shape. If you have a smaller face you don’t want to get them too big because the bigger shades will consume your face and make your head appear smaller and make you look sort of like a bug. For my divas with a more full facial shape bigger is better!! Size isn’t the only factor to be considered when choosing your shades. If you have high round cheeks you may want to consider shades with a more flat shape. This is because you don’t want to have those hideous lines across your cheeks when you take your shades off because the frame was resting directly on your cheeks. If you are a fuller faced diva please stay away from the smaller framed shades. I as a fuller faced diva feel like the smaller frames make me look like my head is swelling up around the shades. This is buffockery that will definitely make you the topic of discussions but it won’t be the types of discussions that you would like. When shopping for sunglasses size does matter!!!

Life: It may be a cliché’ saying but I honestly believe that the eyes are the pathway to the soul. It really doesn’t matter what a person is saying or doing the truth is always in their eyes. If you want to be taken seriously then it is super important that eye contact is made. In making eye contact please understand that the other person can probably tell if you are being honest so don’t say anything that you don’t really mean. Actions are always much louder than any tone of voice that you can use. So if you are speaking from your heart, your eyes are saying the same, then the most important thing that you can do to bring it all together harmoniously is to let your actions support what you’ve been saying all along. If you aren’t going to do that you may as well wear sunglasses while you are having that serious discussion. Those “heart felt” words come across as wonk wonk wonk whomp whomp whomp whomp to the other person when the actions aren’t in support of the words.
Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it’s a way of life!!

I'm a Superhero!!

Divas too much metallic is just not right!! I make it a habit of starting each day with the mindset that it’s a new opportunity to change the world. I call it my Superhero approach and it definitely helps me keep my purpose in mind. It is my goal as a diva to be the change that I want to see in the world and I plan to do that by helping one wayward diva or even diva admirer at a time. I feel like if I can advise at least one person by way of fashion, beauty, or life issue then my day’s mission has been accomplished. On the days that I get feedback from multiple people I am totally stoked and feel like I’ve had a “Super” day for sure!!

I would never even attempt to actually dress up like a superhero unless it’s Halloween or some other special event that would warrant such extreme attire. Even then I don’t think I could do an entire metallic get up. I have spotted several knock off divas (KOD) around the Tampa Bay area dressed literally from head to toe in metallic. I think they are taking my whole superhero concept a bit too far!! This buffockery is an extreme violation of the diva code of ethics and you are forever banished from the diva-dom for a violation of the sort. Metallics are fun and when worn in moderation can be very complimentary to your attire. Please, please, please divas…keep your residency secured in the diva-dom and don’t really try to be a Superhero. Even the real superheroes wear regular clothing unless they are on a mission!!

Life: We all have a purpose for being here. Some of us know our purpose and we are making every effort to live a life that reflects this knowledge. There are also some of us who are still trying to figure out what our life’s purpose is. Whichever one of these groups you find yourself fitting into know that every day is a new opportunity to be a better you!! If you had a rough day yesterday leave it in yesterday and start the day anew with the goal of having a better day today and a great deal of optimism that tomorrow will be even better than today!!

If you feel like you know your purpose then approach it with much passion and tenacity. If you don’t know your purpose you should seek it with much fervor, because it is after all the reason you are here. Living a life of purpose is what makes superheroes super!! Superman knows that he is Superman to save lives. He has been equipped to do this effectively and so he does an excellent job at it. He goes from an average everyday Joe to an unstoppable force to be reckoned with by simply stepping into a phone booth and putting the “S” on his chest. Understanding that Superman is a fictitious character the concept is one that we should all keep fresh in our minds. For instance I know that my purpose is to encourage, inspire, and motivate divas and diva admirers to be the best them that they can be. It is what comes naturally for me and I seem to be fully equipped with what I need to fulfill this mission on a regular basis!! My phone booth is my closet…I go from an everyday wife, mommy, and neighbor to a fabulous Supreme Diva instantly!! This is where I put the stilettos on and the “S” on my chest. Tap into your creative side and find your purpose and make it super!! We all have a phone booth. Where is yours??

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it’s a way of life!!

Keep It Cute

There’s an old rather cliché’ saying that says “When you know better, then you do better!!”. I’m going to safely assume that a great deal of the knock off divas (KOD) simply don’t know any better. There seems to be an epidemic of KODs under the impression that their jeans or pants should be so tight that they give them that treacherous muffin top. Muffins are for sustenance not to be worn!! I’ve even witnessed some that were much too large to be considered muffins, we refer to those as loaf tops. This is the kind of buffockery that makes me uncontrollably get an instant stink face. For those who don’t know what stink face is it’s when something smells fowl and your nose and lips turn upward. The thought that comes to mind when I see these human pastries is “girl tuck that muffin away and Keep it Cute”.

There are a plenitude of options to combat that villainous muffin or loaf top. Spanx are a great defense mechanism. They come in several different forms, shapes, fits and there is even a generic line found in Target called Assets. A great pair of spanx is a diva’s best friend. They are worn by not just my full figured divas but the smaller framed divas who have problem areas. If you are unaware of what Spanx are they are the modern answer to what was previously referred to as a girdle. When they fit properly they aren’t uncomfortable, they don’t ride up, and they don’t roll down either. Every diva needs a pair amongst her unmentionables just for general purposes. Feeling a little bloated…grab the spanx, just had a baby…grab the spanx, dress not quite fitting like you want…grab the spanx!! This “body armor” as I call it, is a jewel and can be compared to diamonds in the sense that they are truly a diva’s best friend!!

Now if you have a loaf…spanx may not be the answer. The need is for something with a little more strength like a Body Magic. Body Magics are an investment, but the benefits are priceless in the changes that they make for your appearance. They are definitely strong enough to hold the loaf. If Body Magic doesn’t work…stop kidding yourself and just buy a bigger size to Keep it Cute.

Life: Having a great personality and warm spirit help make you more appealing and enhance your beauty. Physically you can be the most beautiful person in the world but your facial expressions, attitude, and conversation will definitely be the things that determine your beauty to those around you. These are the things that you should really consider when you find yourself lonely. Stop making excuses for not having friends or people who want to be around you and do a self-assessment on your personality. Now this can be a little difficult if you are your number one fan. It’s not easy to see things in yourself because you think that you are fantastic!! In these cases ask your closest family and friends what they honestly think about your personality. In doing this keep an open mind and be receptive to what they have to say. In most cases the people who love you are willing to give you a true honest opinion because they want you to be the best you that you can be. Once you have their opinions don’t take it personal and don’t play the victim, absorb the info and make adjustments as necessary to keep it cute!!
Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it’s a way of life!!

Fix Your Flats

Divas the question “How do you dance in those heels?” is one that I am asked frequently. Just like any other physically charged activity you have to work at it. I’ll be the first to admit that it hasn’t always been as effortless as it is now. I can remember when my calves and quadriceps would feel like they were on fire after one song. Persistence and my love for shoes motivated me to keep working on it. Now it’s like second nature. I can dance all night in up to 6” heels. Wearing my heels is like a super hero putting on their cape!! I’m in full diva gear when I put on the heels and I feel like I’m ready to take on the world. My secret is actually no secret. I love shoes with a high heel and a great platform!! The height of the platform offsets the heel height!!

Now I’ve noticed that there are a lot of diva decepticons out there walking around in broke down heels. Yes I said broke down…their heels have blown a flat. If the heel of your shoe is trying to lay down…you’ve blown a flat, if you have lost the tap off of the heel of your shoe…you’ve blown a flat, if the leather/pleather or fabric on the heel of your shoe is peeled or scraped off…you’ve blown a flat. These aren’t true divas and this kind of buffockery gets them posted on a poster and their membership into the club will be denied until they have consistently shown that they have eradicated the buffockery from their lives.

I have a serious appreciation for a well-made pair of shoes therefore I don’t mind taking them to the shoe repair shop when I’ve lost a tap or the leather is in need of repairing. This is a resource that should be utilized when you have invested in a quality pair of shoes. This is not to say that all of my shoes are higher end because they aren’t. I do have a few very inexpensive pairs but I don’t feel as compelled to have them repaired when they have blown a flat as I do the more expensive ones.

Life: Anything of value that you use on a regular basis may sometimes require repairs. When your vehicle experiences problems you have it repaired. When your refrigerator or freezer stops cooling you have it repaired. Life situations are no different. When something in your life that you have invested time, money, and energy into experiences problems or issues you have to repair it. Self-esteem is one of our most valuable assets. This isn’t a problem for some but for most it is one of the easiest parts of our lives to blow a flat. Do an honest self-evaluation and be honest with yourself about the way that you view yourself.

My god sister came down for a visit a couple of weeks ago. It was one of the best weekends ever!! We laughed until we cried, we took frequent trips down memory lane, we partied like rock stars, we shopped as if we were the rich and famous, but the most valuable thing we did together was honest self-reflection. She came here a mirrored image internally of what I was 10 years ago, lost in mommyville trying to juggle a life consuming career, role as wife, mommy, and family martyr. I connected instantly with where she was because there was that strong feeling of familiarity that I recognized instantly. I made sure that every moment that we spent alone was being utilized showing her that you have control and the power to repair that flat. I can honestly say that when she left Tampa her flat was repaired and it brings a smile to my face every time I talk to her because it’s illuminating her life right now!! Her walk, talk, attitude towards life, and appreciation for herself have all been restored to a former place and she is living life and loving the woman she is. The flats have been repaired!!

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it’s a way of life!!

Keep It Moving Forward

If you are like me, you probably have a signature color and somewhere in pretty much every ensemble you can find a touch of that color. My signature color is red. I love the color red. This may sound a little over the top but I actually own 16 pairs of red shoes. These are all different styles including heels, flats, boots, sandals, and even sneakers.

I’ve noticed that a lot of divas are afraid to experiment with colors. For example we were preparing to go out for a night of dancing and my friend wasn’t sure what she wanted to wear. She was insistent that she just had to wear black shoes no matter what she was going to wear. There is nothing wrong with black shoes I have a plethora of them myself. However I also believe that colors make much more of a statement. One of the outfits in question was a beautiful turquoise top and a white skirt. Red would have complimented the ensemble well. She looked at me…me…and says “I don’t think that’s going to look right”. I was thinking to myself this is some buffockery that she will even question my fashion opinion. I simply said “ok” because I considered my audience and realized that there are some battles not worth the fight. I wear red with turquoise all of the time but because I also have a bright and very bold personality I pull it off well.

A confident diva will put on a daring color and work it out!! I believe that a fabulous pair of red shoes can prove complimentary to almost any look. The key is definitely accessorizing. You will have those less fashionable diva posers who will question your ensemble but when you give them a once over and you will typically notice that they are a little fashion backwards. They will not because they cannot relate to someone who is fashion forward!!

Life: Complacency takes residence in our lives without warning, without notice, and without permission. Most of the time we don’t even realize that we’ve become complacent in our situations, until someone else brings it to our attention. You can become complacent in family situations, platonic friend relationships, and most often intimate personal relationships. We get comfortable in knowing that the person on the other side of the relationship will be there no matter what. That’s not always the case. When you are the one feeling like you are being taken for granted or unappreciated you consider making adjustments to your life to alleviate that feeling. The severity of those adjustments will vary from person to person and situation to situation. Keri Hilson talks about this adjustment period in one of her songs. We all have a “Breaking Point”!! Question is are you going to wait until the other person reaches their breaking point to make changes or are you going to “Keep It Moving Forward” all of the time?? Waiting until they reach the breaking point can possibly mean that your changes will go unwanted and unappreciated. Sometimes it’s too little too late!! Keep It Moving Forward all of the time and you won’t have to worry about these kinds of issues!!

Remember being a diva is more than just a title, it’s a way of life!!